Brothers and Sisters in Recovery 🙏 One of the biggest dangers in both active addiction and recovery is self-sabotage. A lot of us think relapse happens only when life gets bad. But the truth is, for many addicts, relapse can also happen when life starts getting good. Why? Because our brains became conditioned to chaos, pain, destruction, and survival mode. In active addiction, we trained ourselves—over and over again—to live in dysfunction. We got used to crisis. We got used to shame. We got used to tearing things down before life could tear them down for us. That is why self-sabotage is so common in recovery. When things finally begin to improve—when relationships heal, when peace shows up, when hope returns, when bills are getting paid, when we begin feeling proud of ourselves—that unfamiliar peace can actually feel threatening. To a brain that spent years wired for destruction, stability can feel uncomfortable. Safety can feel suspicious. Joy can feel foreign. That old addict...
"Rock Bottoms and Sunny Days"
by Gary G
I remember the day like a thunderstorm still echoing—
a friend with tears in his eyes,
needle trembling in his hand,
begging me not to cross that line.
His voice cracked like old floorboards:
"Don’t do this, man… please.”
But I was already halfway gone,
heart hollow,
pain too loud,
and I said to myself,
"This is what I need."
And just like that,
the poison found my vein—
and I found another rock bottom
waiting to swallow me whole.
Shame became my shadow,
regret, my pillow.
Every sunrise felt like a dare
to survive
or disappear.
But even shadows give way to light.
And one day,
somewhere between broken mirrors
and aching bones,
I chose to stand.
One step.
Then two.
Then a thousand more
toward the sun.
Now, I chase peace, not a high.
I count clean days like gold coins,
each one a treasure,
each one a triumph.
The storms still knock sometimes,
but I don’t answer.
I remember the friend who cried,
and I cry too—
but from strength, not sorrow.
Some days are hard.
Some days I ache.
But the sun still rises,
and so do I.
Not because I’m cured,
but because I choose
to fight,
to feel,
to live clean.
And in that choice—
I’ve found my freedom.
Rock bottoms built the road beneath me.
Sunny days light the way ahead.
And I walk it.
Every damn day.
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