REBELS OF ADDICTION

 Brothers and Sisters in Recovery 🙏 Dealing with change can feel like the ground beneath us just gave out. One moment things seem steady, and the next, everything we counted on is gone or shifting—jobs, relationships, even our own sense of control. That kind of disruption can shake us to the core if we let it. But here’s the truth: change itself isn’t the enemy. It’s how we respond to it that defines our recovery. When life flips upside down, we’re given a choice. We can resist it, fight it, and stay stuck… or we can lean into it, trust the process, and allow it to shape us into something stronger. Growth in recovery rarely comes from comfort. It comes from those moments when we don’t have all the answers, when we’re forced to rely on something greater than ourselves. Turning it over to our Higher Power isn’t weakness—it’s wisdom. It’s understanding that we don’t have to control everything to move forward. Sometimes change will redirect us down paths we never expected to walk. At ...

Brothers and Sisters in Recovery 🙏 I heard a quote recently: if you could go back and fix every mistake you ever made, you would erase yourself. That hit me hard—and I know somebody else out there needs to hear it too. In recovery, we learn something powerful: our mistakes didn’t destroy us… they shaped us. Every wrong turn, every poor decision, every moment we wish we could take back—they all played a part in building the person we are today. And today, we’re standing. We’re growing. We’re changing. There is wisdom in recovery that you won’t find anywhere else. It teaches us to own our past without being owned by it. It teaches us that pain can become purpose, and that our darkest moments can light the way for someone else. What you’ve been through matters—not because it was easy, but because you survived it. I see strength in each and every one of you. I see courage. I see people who refused to quit when it would’ve been easier to give up. Recovery has a way of bringing out the good...

  Brothers and Sisters in Recovery 🙏 I finally made it out of the hospital after a rough PTSD episode. I’m doing okay, and I want to thank each of you for your support, your patience, and your understanding. It truly means more than I can say. This was something I needed to face head-on. I know where my past can take me if I ignore what’s going on inside, and I wasn’t willing to go back there. So I did what we’re taught to do—I reached out and got help. That’s what this program is about. Not being perfect, but being honest. Not handling everything alone, but leaning on each other. There is strength in asking for help, and there is freedom in staying willing. If you’re struggling today, don’t isolate. Pick up the phone. Talk to someone. You are not alone, and you don’t have to fight this by yourself. Just for today, stay clean. Easy does it. One day at a time. Keep coming back—it works if you work it. With love and gratitude, Gary G

 Brothers and Sisters in Recovery 🙏 It’s unfortunate to share that the Rebels of Addiction blog will be down for a couple of weeks. I’m currently hospitalized and working through a serious mental health episode tied to acute PTSD. The good news is I’m safe, I’m being cared for, and I’m exactly where I need to be right now. This is something I face from time to time, and I’ve learned that stepping back and getting help is part of staying in the fight—not stepping out of it. Recovery doesn’t mean we never get hit hard—it means we don’t face it alone and we don’t stay down. This moment is just that—a moment. I’m leaning into the same principles we all live by: honesty, willingness, and faith that this too will pass. There’s strength in asking for help, and there’s real power in taking care of your mind just like you would your body. While I’m taking this time to stabilize and reset, I want each of you to keep pushing forward. Stay connected. Go to your meetings. Pick up the phone. He...

Brothers and Sisters in Recovery 🙏 What I’m walking through right now is just another reminder that recovery isn’t about having a perfect life—it’s about learning how to live through an imperfect one without picking up. The storms don’t ask for permission, and they don’t always make sense. Some things are simply part of life on life’s terms. Every single one of us carries something. Maybe it’s trauma, maybe it’s loss, maybe it’s mental health, maybe it’s regret. Different stories, same fight. The details change, but the truth doesn’t—we all hit walls, we all get tired, and sometimes we stumble. The difference today is we don’t have to stay down. There are things we can’t control. That’s just reality. But we do have control over how we respond. That’s where recovery lives. Not in avoiding the struggle, but in facing it head-on and choosing not to go back to what almost destroyed us. That’s strength. That’s growth. If you’re struggling today, you’re not alone. If you feel like you’re ba...

Brothers and Sisters in Recovery 🙏 Life has a funny way of tricking us. We tend to label things as “easy” or “hard,” when in reality, what we’re really reacting to is whether something feels familiar or unfamiliar. The familiar feels comfortable—not because it’s good for us, but because we know it. We’ve practiced it. We’ve lived in it. The unfamiliar feels difficult—not because it’s impossible, but because it’s new ground, and we haven’t built the muscle for it yet. Addiction is the perfect example. It feels familiar. We knew the routine, the escape, the chaos—even the consequences. That path becomes worn in, like a groove you can fall into without even thinking. It feels “easy,” but let’s be honest—it was destroying us. There’s nothing truly easy about a life that takes everything from you. Recovery, on the other hand, can feel like trying to walk in the dark at first. It’s unfamiliar. It demands honesty, accountability, and change. It asks us to sit with feelings we used to run ...

Brothers and Sisters in Recovery 🙏 “Fake it till you make it.” I’ve heard that line more times than I can count. It gets tossed around like it’s some universal truth, like if you just act the part long enough, eventually it becomes real. But let’s be honest—there’s something about that phrase that doesn’t sit right when you really break it down. Recovery isn’t a performance. It’s not a role you pretend to play until the curtain falls and suddenly you’re healed. So what does it actually mean? If “faking it” means pretending you’re okay when you’re not, that’s dangerous territory. That’s where people start stuffing feelings, avoiding truth, and building a version of themselves that looks clean on the outside but is still hurting underneath. That’s not recovery—that’s survival mode with better camouflage. But if you look at it from a different angle, there’s a piece of truth buried in it. Maybe it’s not about faking who you are. Maybe it’s about acting in alignment with who you’re trying...

Brothers and Sisters in Recovery 🙏 Yesterday was a bit of a struggle. Something reminded me of my beautiful little sister who we lost to domestic violence nearly two years ago, and it brought everything rushing back like it just happened. Back then, I was sitting in prison, deep in active addiction, and when I got that news, I didn’t face it—I ran from it. For months, I buried that pain the only way I knew how at the time. What weighs on me even more is knowing she waited so long to see me come home, and when I finally did, I wasn’t the brother she hoped for—I was still lost. That hurt her. And the truth is, she never got to see the man I’m becoming today. She never got to see the fight in me, the honesty, the willingness to change. But I’ve come to understand something important—I can still honor her. Not by words, but by how I live. Every morning I wake up, I get a choice. I can let the past destroy me, or I can let it shape me. I choose to let it shape me. I choose to carry that pa...

Brothers and Sisters in Recovery 🙏 I heard a quote yesterday: esteemed people do esteemed things. That hit me in a real way, because recovery is exactly where that truth comes to life. We don’t walk into this journey already polished, already whole, already “esteemed” by the world’s standards. Most of us come in broken, humbled, and carrying the weight of our past. But here’s the shift—esteem isn’t something handed to us, it’s something built through action, one decision at a time. In active addiction, our actions often reflected chaos, impulsivity, and survival at any cost. But in recovery, we begin to align our actions with principles—honesty, willingness, accountability, service. That’s where the transformation happens. Not in big, dramatic moments, but in the quiet consistency of doing the next right thing when no one is watching. That’s what makes a person “esteemed” in this life—not perfection, but direction. Every time you choose not to pick up, you’re doing something esteemed....

Brothers and Sisters in Recovery 🙏 Getting sober won’t open the gates of heaven to let you in—but it will open the gates of hell to let you out. And for those of us who’ve lived it, that isn’t just a clever line—it’s the truth. Active addiction is a place where your world shrinks down to survival, to chasing relief, to waking up already defeated. It robs you piece by piece—your peace, your purpose, your relationships, your self-respect—until one day you look in the mirror and barely recognize the person staring back. So what does it actually mean to get your life back? It’s not just about putting the substances down. That’s the beginning, not the finish line. Getting your life back means learning how to live again without running, without numbing, without hiding. It means waking up and not being controlled by a substance, a craving, or a past mistake. It means being able to look people in the eye again—with honesty. It’s rebuilding what was lost—sometimes from the ground up. Trust doe...

Brothers and Sisters in Recovery 🙏 You know what’s trending right now in recovery? Good flippin’ days. I’m talking about those power days—the kind where the sun feels brighter, your coffee hits just right, and even the birds sound like they’ve got a purpose. The kind of day where, before anything even happens, you just know it’s going to be a good one. And here’s the truth—those days don’t just show up by accident. They start with a decision. A mindset. An intention you set before your feet even hit the floor. If you want one of those days, you’ve got to build it from the inside out. Start by checking your mental landscape. What are you feeding your mind first thing in the morning? Is it gratitude, or is it worry? Is it hope, or is it old thinking trying to sneak back in? Because whatever you plant first is what’s going to grow all day long. Take a moment—just a real, honest moment—and ground yourself. Remind yourself who you are today, not who you used to be. You’re someone who fight...

Brothers and Sisters in Recovery 🙏 It’s a beautiful thing to wake up and actually hear the birds. Not just as background noise, not something you brush off or tune out—but really hear them. In active addiction, moments like that didn’t exist for me. Life was loud in all the wrong ways and silent where it mattered most. I was always chasing something, always running, always distracted. The simple things didn’t stand a chance. Recovery changes that—if we let it. Now we get the opportunity to slow things down. To actually live in the moments we used to rush past. The smell of fresh air in the morning, the warmth of the sun on your face, a quiet cup of coffee, a genuine laugh with someone who understands your journey—these are the things that build a life worth staying clean for. “Stopping to smell the roses” isn’t just some cliché—it’s a discipline. It’s choosing to be present instead of distracted. It’s training your mind to appreciate what’s real instead of chasing what’s temporary. Be...

Brothers and Sisters in Recovery 🙏 I’m starting today with a smile. It’s shaping up to be one of those charged-up days where life shows up on its own terms—and yeah, I’m not exactly thrilled about it. So what do I do? I lean into dad jokes. Why? Because sometimes the simplest, corniest things are exactly what break the tension and remind us not to take everything so seriously. Laughter and smiling aren’t just nice ideas—they’re tools. In many Hindu traditions, laughter is seen as a form of healing energy. There’s even a practice called “laughter yoga,” built on the belief that intentional laughter can reduce stress, calm the nervous system, and restore balance to the mind and body. The idea is simple: the body doesn’t always know the difference between forced laughter and real laughter—either way, it releases the same feel-good chemicals. That’s powerful when you think about it. Even when we don’t feel like it, choosing to laugh can shift something inside us. That ties directly into r...

Brothers and Sisters in Recovery 🙏 Some days are just some days. Life on life’s terms can hit hard, and yesterday tested me in ways I didn’t expect. I handled things the way I’ve been taught—until a line got crossed and I reacted in a way I’m not proud of. For a moment, I even questioned whether I should keep going or take my recovery somewhere else. But that’s the trap, isn’t it? One bad moment trying to outweigh all the good we’ve built. Here’s the truth: no matter how far we’ve come, we’re still human. We still get triggered, we still stumble, and we still have days that don’t go our way. A rough day or a bad decision doesn’t erase your progress—it proves you’re still in the fight. What matters is what you do next. Get back up, get honest, and keep moving forward. Life is going to happen whether we like it or not. The difference today is we don’t have to run from it or let it take us out. We face it, we learn from it, and we grow through it. Stay grounded, stay connected, and don’t...

Brothers and Sisters in Recovery 🙏 This is a supplement to my morning message. I want to take a moment to own something and make it right. A while back, I shared about an individual in hopes of helping build a support network for him. Some of you stepped up with open hearts—and unfortunately, you were met with lewd remarks and deeply inappropriate behavior. That’s not what this program stands for, and it’s not what any of you deserve. I take responsibility for that. I had no idea he would respond in that way, and I’m truly sorry to anyone who was affected. On my end, I’ve also received a stream of messages ranging from rude and disrespectful to what I believe may have crossed the line into a threat. That said, I won’t let this shake what we’re building here. Recovery is about accountability, growth, and protecting the unity that keeps us alive. I won’t use this platform in that way again. What I will continue to do is stand for honesty, integrity, and the kind of support that actually...

Brothers and Sisters in Recovery 🙏 Don’t put off something for tomorrow that you can do today. That’s not just good advice—it’s survival in this life we’ve chosen. Being present isn’t passive; it’s active. It’s showing up, even when it’s uncomfortable, even when your pride wants to stall you out. Recovery is work. Real work. The kind that asks you to look at yourself honestly and make corrections in real time, not “eventually.” I’ll give you a real example. The other day, I had a conversation that went sideways—misunderstanding, hurt feelings, the whole mess. I got frustrated and let it fly. Said things I shouldn’t have. I did apologize, but not right away. And the question came back to me: why did it take so long? Truth is, I didn’t think about the damage I was letting sit there. While I waited, that other person was carrying the weight of something I could’ve addressed immediately. Time didn’t fix it—time made it heavier. That’s the lesson. In recovery, delay is dangerous. Not just ...

Brothers and Sisters in Recovery 🙏 It still gets me fired up—the realization that today I get to be the author of my life. In active addiction, I wasn’t holding the pen. My story was being written for me—by the court system, by bad decisions, by a reputation I earned the hard way. Page after page labeled me as a screw-up, and I lived like that was the only version of me that existed. That’s not the case anymore. Today, I get to participate in my own story. I don’t control every twist or every chapter ahead—but I absolutely control how I show up in it. And that changes everything. When you change your life, you change the narrative. The same person who once lived in chaos can become someone grounded, dependable, and free. That’s not theory—that’s lived experience. We don’t get to write the future in advance, but we do get to edit what no longer belongs in our lives. We can cut out the lies, the manipulation, the isolation, the selfishness, the chasing, the using, the running, the destr...

Brothers and Sisters in Recovery 🙏 One of the biggest dangers in both active addiction and recovery is self-sabotage. A lot of us think relapse happens only when life gets bad. But the truth is, for many addicts, relapse can also happen when life starts getting good. Why? Because our brains became conditioned to chaos, pain, destruction, and survival mode. In active addiction, we trained ourselves—over and over again—to live in dysfunction. We got used to crisis. We got used to shame. We got used to tearing things down before life could tear them down for us. That is why self-sabotage is so common in recovery. When things finally begin to improve—when relationships heal, when peace shows up, when hope returns, when bills are getting paid, when we begin feeling proud of ourselves—that unfamiliar peace can actually feel threatening. To a brain that spent years wired for destruction, stability can feel uncomfortable. Safety can feel suspicious. Joy can feel foreign. That old addict...

Brothers and Sisters in Recovery 🙏 Damn… I forgot to check in with myself today. I’ve been sleeping for what feels like the last 24 hours, and honestly, that says a lot. I’ve got a bad habit sometimes of letting life pile up on me without stopping to take care of me. Yesterday, I drove over 160 miles round trip when I was already exhausted to begin with. I pushed through it, came home, crashed hard, and woke up feeling physically sick — nauseous, drained, and completely run down. And the truth is… none of that happened by accident. It happened because I didn’t make time for self-care. That’s something I need to be real about, not just for myself, but for all of us in recovery. Self-care is not optional in recovery — it is essential. It is integral. It is foundational. Without it, we set ourselves up to break down mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. And when we’re broken down, that’s when our disease starts whispering lies to us. Recovery is about working on self. It’s ...

Brothers and Sisters in Recovery 🙏 I apologize in advance for the cussing in this message, but sometimes in recovery, there’s just no better way to say it than this: the fuck-its are real. In early recovery — and especially in rehab — I dealt with that a lot. Truth is, for most of my life, I lived by “fuck it.” I didn’t care much about what I said, what I did, who I hurt, or what I was throwing away. That same mindset is exactly why I left so many rehabs. I’d get a little uncomfortable, a little challenged, a little too honest with myself… and then I’d say fuck it and walk out. And I know I’m not the only one. Matter of fact, I’d bet just about every one of us reading this has had a case of the fuck-its at some point. That voice that says, “This is too hard.” “I’m tired.” “What’s the point?” “One time won’t matter.” That voice has taken a lot of us out before. Now yes, it can absolutely be a character defect that needs work. But I also believe something else: what used to be a...

Brothers and Sisters in Recovery 🙏 Relapse is probably one of the scariest things that still bothers me daily in recovery. It’s not that I’m constantly thinking about using — it’s the fear of going back to that life of active addiction. I fear it enough that I don’t make bold promises about never using again, because for me, that almost feels like tempting fate. Historically, relapse has been part of my recovery story. I have relapsed ten times in the thirteen years I was seeking recovery, and every one of them ended in rehab or some kind of treatment center. That means I got very experienced at lying to myself. And trust me when I say this — I can lie to myself so well that I can justify destroying everything, even going back to prison, just to get what I need to get high. That’s why I believe it’s actually healthy to be weary of relapse. Not to live in fear, but to stay grounded. To respect relapse enough to remain humble. Addiction is patient, cunning, and ruthless. The moment we s...

Brothers and Sisters in Recovery 🙏 Sometimes I like to share parts of my story. I do it sparingly because I never want this platform to become all about me. But I do believe that sharing our experience, strength, and hope can help someone else who may still be struggling. I spent a long time incarcerated. My longest stretch was from 1999 until 2012. When I first got locked up in 1999, my girlfriend at the time was pregnant. By the time my daughter was born, I was already in prison. I had no contact with her and knew very little about her. The only way I got to “watch” her grow up was from a distance, mostly through social media. I kept my distance out of respect for her mother. When my daughter was around 21 years old, I met her for the first time. The problem was… I was still in active addiction. I made all kinds of promises. I told her I would be there for her. I told her I wouldn’t go back to prison. I told her I would finally be the father she never had. And within a month of maki...

Brothers and Sisters in Recovery 🙏 Had another one last night. Yep… a using dream. I hate those things. Especially when everything seems to be going well in recovery. It can leave me feeling like I just got done using. Sometimes it feels so real I can almost feel it, taste it, and carry that heaviness with me after I wake up. If we’re being honest, it can be scary because it feels so suggestive that it could push us toward relapse if we let it mess with our heads. But here’s what I’ve learned. Using dreams are actually very common in recovery. Research has shown that drinking and drug-use dreams happen often, especially in early recovery, and they usually decrease over time as the brain and body continue adjusting to abstinence. One national study found they’re a known part of recovery and tend to fade as time goes on. Dr. Nicole Labor—an addiction medicine physician who is also in long-term recovery herself—teaches that addiction is deeply rooted in brain chemistry and the brain has ...

Brothers and Sisters in Recovery 🙏 Good morning, family. It took me a long time to truly understand what it means to surrender. For a long time, I thought surrender meant weakness. I thought it meant I was giving up, waving the white flag, or tossing in the towel. But recovery has taught me that surrender is something completely different. Surrender is not quitting. Surrender is not defeat. Surrender is not giving up on yourself. Surrender is the moment we stop fighting the truth. It’s when we stop trying to control the uncontrollable. It’s when we stop denying what addiction has done to our lives. It’s when we stop telling ourselves we can handle it alone, fix it alone, or somehow outthink it. The more I fought my addiction, the worse it got. The more I denied it, the stronger it became. Addiction feeds on pride. It feeds on denial. It feeds on isolation. It feeds on the lie that we don’t need help. But surrender is where freedom begins. Surrender means I finally accept the truth: I ...

 Brothers and Sisters in Recovery 🙏 I think I’m going to change it up a little today and talk about something simple, but powerful—journaling. On this path of recovery, a lot of us live with overactive minds. Sometimes we overthink everything. Other times, we don’t think things through enough. Either way, when our thoughts start running wild, one of the best things we can do is write it down. And I don’t mean it has to be some fancy leather-bound journal either. It can be in a notebook, on a napkin, on the back of a receipt, or even in a morning message like this. The point isn’t where you write—it’s that you get it out of your head and onto paper. Writing in recovery is fundamental because it forces us to slow down and process what we’re feeling instead of reacting on impulse. It helps us use critical thinking instead of emotional chaos. When we write, we can see our thoughts more clearly. We can separate fear from facts, emotion from reality, and confusion from truth. Sometimes ...