Brothers and Sisters in Recovery 🙏 One of the biggest dangers in both active addiction and recovery is self-sabotage. A lot of us think relapse happens only when life gets bad. But the truth is, for many addicts, relapse can also happen when life starts getting good. Why? Because our brains became conditioned to chaos, pain, destruction, and survival mode. In active addiction, we trained ourselves—over and over again—to live in dysfunction. We got used to crisis. We got used to shame. We got used to tearing things down before life could tear them down for us. That is why self-sabotage is so common in recovery. When things finally begin to improve—when relationships heal, when peace shows up, when hope returns, when bills are getting paid, when we begin feeling proud of ourselves—that unfamiliar peace can actually feel threatening. To a brain that spent years wired for destruction, stability can feel uncomfortable. Safety can feel suspicious. Joy can feel foreign. That old addict...
Brothers and Sisters in Recovery 🙏
This is the last of my morning messages… April fools! 😂
I was thinking about a book I read by Gregory David Roberts called The Shantaram. It’s loosely based on a true story about a guy who was a paramedic in Australia and also a heroin addict who ended up robbing a bank and serving 19 years in prison. He eventually escaped and became a fugitive in India, where he ran a quasi-clinic in the slums of Bombay. Because of his Western background and English-speaking ability, the local underground mafia used him as a go-between for foreigners.
One of the characters, a philosopher-gangster if you will, said something about the justice system that has stuck with me: “It’s not about how much crime is in the sin, but how much sin is in the crime.”
That idea makes me think deeply about addiction and recovery. When I make amends, it’s not just about the harm I caused—it’s about the moral failings inside me that led me there. The sin behind the actions, the character flaws I need to own. Recovery isn’t just about blaming drugs or circumstances; it’s about taking full responsibility for what I did and who I was when I did it.
As I move into the steps of making amends, my focus is on being honest, humble, and sincere. I want every apology to reflect true understanding—not just of the crime, but of the sin that fueled it. I’m still working on step seven with my sponsor, and I know there’s a long journey ahead, but I want to do this right. I want to live my recovery fully, with integrity and awareness.
Keep your hearts open, take each day as it comes, and remember: one day at a time, progress not perfection, and live in the solution.
With love and gratitude,
Gary G
I was thinking about a book I read by Gregory David Roberts called The Shantaram. It’s loosely based on a true story about a guy who was a paramedic in Australia and also a heroin addict who ended up robbing a bank and serving 19 years in prison. He eventually escaped and became a fugitive in India, where he ran a quasi-clinic in the slums of Bombay. Because of his Western background and English-speaking ability, the local underground mafia used him as a go-between for foreigners.
One of the characters, a philosopher-gangster if you will, said something about the justice system that has stuck with me: “It’s not about how much crime is in the sin, but how much sin is in the crime.”
That idea makes me think deeply about addiction and recovery. When I make amends, it’s not just about the harm I caused—it’s about the moral failings inside me that led me there. The sin behind the actions, the character flaws I need to own. Recovery isn’t just about blaming drugs or circumstances; it’s about taking full responsibility for what I did and who I was when I did it.
As I move into the steps of making amends, my focus is on being honest, humble, and sincere. I want every apology to reflect true understanding—not just of the crime, but of the sin that fueled it. I’m still working on step seven with my sponsor, and I know there’s a long journey ahead, but I want to do this right. I want to live my recovery fully, with integrity and awareness.
Keep your hearts open, take each day as it comes, and remember: one day at a time, progress not perfection, and live in the solution.
With love and gratitude,
Gary G
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