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Self-Sabotage in Recovery

Brothers and Sisters in Recovery 🙏 One of the biggest dangers in both active addiction and recovery is self-sabotage. A lot of us think relapse happens only when life gets bad. But the truth is, for many addicts, relapse can also happen when life starts getting good. Why? Because our brains became conditioned to chaos, pain, destruction, and survival mode. In active addiction, we trained ourselves—over and over again—to live in dysfunction. We got used to crisis. We got used to shame. We got used to tearing things down before life could tear them down for us. That is why self-sabotage is so common in recovery. When things finally begin to improve—when relationships heal, when peace shows up, when hope returns, when bills are getting paid, when we begin feeling proud of ourselves—that unfamiliar peace can actually feel threatening. To a brain that spent years wired for destruction, stability can feel uncomfortable. Safety can feel suspicious. Joy can feel foreign. That old addict...

Self Care is Recovery

Brothers and Sisters in Recovery 🙏


Damn… I forgot to check in with myself today.


I’ve been sleeping for what feels like the last 24 hours, and honestly, that says a lot. I’ve got a bad habit sometimes of letting life pile up on me without stopping to take care of me. Yesterday, I drove over 160 miles round trip when I was already exhausted to begin with. I pushed through it, came home, crashed hard, and woke up feeling physically sick — nauseous, drained, and completely run down.


And the truth is… none of that happened by accident.


It happened because I didn’t make time for self-care.


That’s something I need to be real about, not just for myself, but for all of us in recovery. Self-care is not optional in recovery — it is essential. It is integral. It is foundational. Without it, we set ourselves up to break down mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. And when we’re broken down, that’s when our disease starts whispering lies to us.


Recovery is about working on self. It’s about healing the damage, learning new behaviors, and becoming the person we were always meant to be. But where does that work start?


It starts with self-care.


It starts with slowing down.

It starts with rest.

It starts with eating right.

It starts with hydration.

It starts with saying “no” when we need to.

It starts with protecting our peace.

It starts with checking in with ourselves before life forces us to.


I’ve learned something the hard way: you cannot pour into anyone else when your own cup is empty. You can’t be there for your family, your brothers and sisters in recovery, your friends, or the people who need your support if you are running yourself into the ground.


And let’s be honest — a lot of us in recovery are givers. We want to help everybody. We want to show up for everybody. We want to save everybody.


But if we don’t take care of ourselves first, eventually we become no good to anybody.


That’s not selfish.

That’s wisdom.


From my perspective, self-care in recovery is an act of discipline and self-respect. It’s me saying, “I matter too.” It’s me understanding that loving myself isn’t arrogance — it’s survival. In fact, I truly believe this:


You are not going to be very good at loving other people until you learn how to love yourself properly.


And loving yourself isn’t just words.

It’s action.


It’s getting the sleep you need.

It’s stepping back when you’re overwhelmed.

It’s asking for help before you’re drowning.

It’s taking a breath before you snap.

It’s making your recovery a priority, not an afterthought.


Because if we neglect ourselves long enough, the consequences will show up one way or another.


Today was a reminder for me.


A reminder that recovery isn’t just meetings, steps, sponsorship, and service work — as important as all that is. Recovery is also taking care of the body and mind God gave us. It’s understanding that burnout can be dangerous. Exhaustion can be dangerous. Stress can be dangerous. Neglect can be dangerous.


So if you needed a reminder today like I did, here it is:


Take care of yourself.

Rest when you need to.

Pause when you need to.

Breathe when you need to.

Reach out when you need to.

You are worth that effort.


Protect your peace.

Protect your energy.

Protect your recovery.


Because we didn’t fight this hard to get clean just to run ourselves back into the ground.


One day at a time.

Easy does it.

First things first.

Keep it simple.

Progress, not perfection.

And most importantly… don’t quit before the miracle happens.


With love and gratitude,

Gary G

Comments

  1. Thanks Gary again you’re 100% correct.. Just like my disease was both physical, mental and spiritual so is my recovery. Good night.

    ReplyDelete

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