REBELS OF ADDICTION

Brothers and Sisters in Recovery 🙏  Currently, I'm on a vacation/funeral trip in Minnesota, and all I can say is wow. It is absolutely gorgeous here. This morning I sat on the back deck overlooking a beautiful lake in northern Minnesota with a hot cup of coffee in my hand, and I was overcome with gratitude. As I sat there watching the water and taking in God's creation, I couldn't help but reflect on where I used to be and where recovery has brought me. There was a time when I never would have had the opportunity to enjoy a morning like this. Addiction robbed me of the ability to appreciate life's simple gifts. My mind was always somewhere else—chasing, running, worrying, or trying to escape reality. Today, because of recovery, I can be fully present. Recovery has given me the ability to slow down and appreciate things I once overlooked. The warmth of the morning sun. The sound of birds singing. Time spent with family. The peacefulness of nature. The simple blessing of...

 Brothers and Sisters in Recovery 🙏 Life on life's terms. What does that really mean? For many of us, recovery has taught us that life doesn't always go according to our plans. In active addiction, we often tried to control everything around us—people, situations, outcomes, emotions, and circumstances. When things didn't go our way, frustration, anger, resentment, fear, and self-pity would often follow. Today, recovery teaches us a different path. Living life on life's terms means accepting reality as it is, not as we wish it would be. It means understanding that we cannot control the weather, other people's actions, traffic, illness, financial setbacks, disappointments, or unexpected challenges. What we can control is how we respond to those things. Recovery doesn't promise us a life free from hardship. It doesn't guarantee that every day will be easy, that relationships will always work out, or that pain will never visit our lives. What recovery does prov...

 Brothers and Sisters in Recovery 🙏 In the small moments of life, the world seems beautiful. Sometimes recovery isn't found in the grand events, major milestones, or life-changing accomplishments. Sometimes it is found in the quiet moments we once overlooked. It is taking a moment to stop and smell the roses. It is a cup of coffee on the porch at sunrise. It is listening to the birds welcome a new day. It is feeling the warmth of the sun on your face, hearing the laughter of family, or simply laying your head down at night with a clear conscience. These are the gifts that active addiction robbed from many of us. While we chased something that always promised more and delivered less, life continued all around us. The beauty was there, but we couldn't see it. The blessings were there, but we couldn't feel them. The peace was there, but we couldn't experience it. Recovery gives us something far greater than abstinence. It gives us our lives back. It restores our ability t...

 Brothers and Sisters in Recovery 🙏 Last night was another using dream. Those always piss me off. I wake up feeling like I just used, and there is a flood of emotions that comes crashing in all at once. Fear, guilt, confusion, disappointment, and sometimes even relief when I realize it was only a dream. For a few moments, it can feel so real that I have to remind myself that I am still clean, still sober, and still walking this path of recovery. Over the years, I've learned that using dreams are a common part of recovery. They can happen months or even years after we've put down the drugs. While they can be unsettling, they don't mean we're failing. They don't mean we secretly want to go back. In many ways, they are evidence that our brains are still healing from the damage addiction caused. For many of us, drugs and alcohol were woven into our lives for years. They became attached to our emotions, our routines, our celebrations, our grief, our stress, and even our...

 Brothers and Sisters in Recovery 🙏 I just wanted to take this time to say that I am proud of you and all the effort you put into your recovery. Every day that you choose recovery, you are making a decision that takes courage, strength, and faith. It doesn't matter if some days are tough or if you feel like quitting. It doesn't matter if the road seems long or if life throws challenges in your path. What matters is that you didn't use today, and that simple fact is nothing short of a miracle. There are people who may never understand the battles we fight inside our minds. They don't see the moments when we have to talk ourselves through cravings, overcome fear, push through anxiety, or face painful emotions without turning to old behaviors. They don't see the strength it takes to choose recovery when nobody is watching. But we know. We understand because we've walked through those storms ourselves. Every day clean is a victory worth celebrating. Recovery isn...

 Brothers and Sisters in Recovery 🙏 Today I woke up feeling a little depressed. Almost immediately, my mind drifted back to a different time in my life—a time when I was incarcerated and counting the sunrises from behind prison walls. There was a period during my incarceration when I simply didn't want to keep going. The weight of the years ahead felt unbearable. Every day seemed identical to the one before it. The steel doors, the concrete walls, the constant noise, the loneliness, the regret, and the overwhelming feeling that life was passing me by. It hurt in ways that are difficult to describe to someone who hasn't experienced it. It wasn't just physical confinement; it was emotional, mental, and spiritual confinement as well. I remember lying awake at night wondering how I would survive another day, let alone another year. The future seemed so far away that it almost felt unreachable. The sentence wasn't measured in months or years—it felt measured in pain, disapp...

 Brothers and Sisters in Recovery 🙏 Have you watched those nostalgia videos from the 80s and 90s? They have a way of taking us back to a forgotten time. A time when cell phones were rare, social media didn't exist, and life seemed a little slower and a little simpler. For a few moments, we can almost feel what it was like to be young again, surrounded by familiar faces, familiar places, and dreams that seemed endless. Sometimes when I watch those videos, I find myself wishing I could go back and relive those years. Not because life was perfect, but because there are things I would do differently. I think about the opportunities I missed, the relationships I damaged, and the years that addiction stole from me. Nostalgia has a way of shining a spotlight on our regrets. It can make us long for a second chance. But the longer I sit with those thoughts, the more I realize something important: if I could erase all of those mistakes, I would also erase the lessons that came from them. Th...

 Brothers and Sisters in Recovery 🙏 All our virtues are shaped by adversity. Think about that for a moment. Courage is not developed when life is easy; courage is born when fear stands in front of us and we move forward anyway. Patience is not learned when everything goes our way; it is forged during the long waits, the setbacks, and the moments when progress feels painfully slow. Gratitude is not truly appreciated when we have everything we want; it grows when we remember what it was like to have so much less. Strength is not discovered in comfort; it is revealed when we carry burdens we never thought we could bear. Recovery is a living example of this truth. Many of us came into recovery broken, exhausted, scared, angry, or hopeless. We arrived carrying the weight of mistakes, regrets, and consequences that seemed impossible to overcome. Yet it was through those very struggles that we began to discover who we truly are. The challenges we faced did not just test us—they shaped us...

  Brothers and Sisters in Recovery 🙏 A tree does not stop growing because someone doesn't like its shade. Think about that for a moment. A healthy tree continues to grow, reaching higher toward the sunlight and extending its roots deeper into the earth, regardless of who appreciates it and who doesn't. It doesn't shrink itself to make others comfortable. It doesn't stop growing because someone complains about the leaves it drops or the shade it casts. It simply continues to be what it was created to be. Recovery is much the same way. As we grow in our recovery, not everyone will understand our journey. Some people will celebrate our progress, while others may question it. Some will cheer us on, while others may remind us of who we used to be. There may even be those who become uncomfortable watching us change because our growth highlights areas of their own lives they have yet to address. But our recovery was never meant to be built on outside validation. We do n...

 Brothers and Sisters in Recovery 🙏 Yesterday I went to church with a good friend and was deeply moved by the message. One thing that stood out to me was the idea of surrender. For many of us, surrender was one of the hardest things we ever had to learn. We spent years trying to control everything around us—our circumstances, other people, our emotions, and sometimes even the consequences of our own actions. We fought battles that were never ours to win and carried burdens that were never ours to carry. Recovery teaches us something different. It teaches us that true strength is found in letting go. When we stop trying to force outcomes and instead place our trust in our Higher Power, we begin to experience a freedom that control never gave us. Surrender is not weakness. Surrender is courage. It is having enough faith to admit that we do not have all the answers and allowing something greater than ourselves to guide our path. The challenge is that surrender is not a one-time event...