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Different Path to Recovery

 Brothers and Sisters in Recovery 🙏 I’ve been doing some thinking about my recovery program and I’ve decided it’s time for me to change things up a little. I love Narcotics Anonymous, and I’m grateful for everything NA has given me. But lately, I’ve felt like my recovery has become a little stale. I’m still committed to recovery, but I believe sometimes we have to be willing to step outside of our comfort zone and look at different ways of strengthening our program. Because of that, I’ve been looking into Recovery Dharma as an alternative or something I can add to what I’m already doing. I’m interested in learning something new, gaining a different perspective, and finding practices that help me continue growing spiritually and emotionally. I’ve learned that recovery isn’t a one-size-fits-all journey. What works for one person may not work for another, and that’s okay. The important thing is that we keep moving forward and remain willing to do whatever is necessary to stay clean, ...
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Play the Tape Forward

 Brothers and Sisters in Recovery 🙏


Yesterday was one of the hardest days I've faced in a long time. I was in court for the hearing involving the man who murdered my sister. It stirred up emotions that are almost impossible to describe—grief, anger, heartbreak, and pain all at once.


I won't lie to you. For a moment, I thought about using.


That old voice whispered that one time would numb the hurt, quiet my mind, and give me a temporary escape. But recovery has taught me something priceless: play the tape forward.


When I played the tape forward, I didn't stop at the first drink or the first drug. I forced myself to see what came after it. I saw the guilt. I saw the shame. I saw the disappointment in my family. I saw the broken trust. I saw myself throwing away everything I've worked so hard to build. I saw myself walking away from my Higher Power, my recovery family, and the life I've been blessed to have today.


The pain I was feeling yesterday was real, but I also knew that using wouldn't erase it. It would only postpone it, and when the drugs wore off, I'd still have the same pain—only now I'd also have a relapse to deal with. Recovery has shown me that there is no situation so bad that using can't make it worse.


Playing the tape forward means looking beyond the lie that addiction tells us. It means remembering where we came from and refusing to return there. It means choosing temporary discomfort over permanent destruction. It means trusting that feelings, no matter how intense, will pass if we stay clean long enough to let them.


Every difficult moment we make it through without picking up becomes another brick in the foundation of our recovery. Every craving we overcome makes us stronger than we were yesterday. We don't grow when life is easy; we grow when we choose recovery in the middle of life's storms.


If you're struggling today, don't focus on just getting through the next year or even the next week. Just get through this moment. Reach out. Call your sponsor. Go to a meeting. Pray. Read recovery literature. Help another addict. Remember that none of us has to do this alone.


Recovery isn't about never having thoughts of using. It's about what we do when those thoughts come. Yesterday reminded me that no matter how many days, months, or years we have clean, we must continue to protect our recovery. We stay vigilant, we stay connected, and we keep putting one foot in front of the other.


Today, I am grateful that I chose recovery over regret.


Keep coming back. One day at a time. Easy does it. Progress, not perfection. This too shall pass. We can do together what none of us can do alone.


With love and gratitude,

Gary G.

Comments

  1. AnonymousJuly 30, 2026 at 6:59 AM

    I can only imagine how difficult yesterday was Gary but you did it & with the help of your HP, you are even stronger today than yesterday! Keep the faith brother - these storms that cut the deepest are teaching us grace!🫶

    ReplyDelete
  2. 777BILLIE777July 30, 2026 at 11:19 AM

    Gary, thank you for being so honest about a moment most people would never admit out loud. "Play the tape forward" is one of the most powerful tools in recovery because it reminds us that relief is temporary, but the consequences can last far longer. My heart continues to be with you and your family as you walk through this unimaginable loss. Thank you for showing that true strength isn't never having the thought, it's choosing recovery anyway.

    ReplyDelete

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